Pure Life Recovery
RECOVERY | GROWTH | LIFE ON LIFE'S TERMS
Fear of basically everything in my 13 year old life led me to my first drink. Only six beers, shared between four friends. In that moment I came to an immature assumption, that alcohol was my emotional cure in a can. An andidote for my adolescent self doubt. Fear of my own broken and somewhat alcoholic step family, and the lonliness I felt within the four walls of home each afternoon.
Fast forward to June 8, 2014. That was when the recreation of alcohol took its final insidious hold. My last drunk. It was the night, after a day of wine, that I decided I couldn’t live this lie anymore. I couldn’t shoulder the shame and survive. My bottom struck as my teen daughters found me with a bottle of pills in my hand. They took action and got me the help I needed that evening. What transpired in those few final drunken moments has become a lifetime of change.
I somehow kind of mastered (faked) life as a highly functioning drinker. I was a successful stay at home mom for 10 years. I am not college educated, yet have managed to attract and maintain great jobs. The suffering settled in quickly, as the progressive nature of my disease had me in it’s grip. Alcoholism is cunning and masterful, if I hadn’t hit bottom that day, I would be dead.
I’ve been sober since 2014, one day at a time. It is how I prefer to embrace my life now, in all arenas; one day at a time. Each day I wake up and realize that I only need to get through this one day. In my relationships, my career, my well-being, and my sobriety. For me, I had to face the fear and start to shred the shame.
Today I am grateful for the disease that lead to my recovery. Without my sobriety, nothing else matters.